The Cage Curse

I stupidly went to see Ghost Rider last night. It was god awful. My friend and me went in a bit intoxicated and thought it would be so bad that it would be funny. We were wrong. Dead wrong.

The character set-up and exposition were too long. It took like 30 minutes for Nicholas Cage to transform into the Rider. And it had this cheesy western music underscoring the whole movie with the voice over from Sam Shepherd. So many people should have known better than to be in this terrible film. But my biggest question is: How the hell did they convince Peter Fonda to be in this piece of crap?! Did the director make his own little deal with the devil? And he wasn’t just in a cameo part. He played the freaking Devil who stole Johnny Blaze’s soul.

Ooh, so scary in his long, capelike coat. And what’s with the cane? The wardrobe was laughable. Did they even try with Cage’s motorcycle suits and that awful black wig. And then, he transforms into a CGI skeleton covered in flames!!! And how does he have the nerve to claim this movie is a work of art? I think not.

I feel like genuine enthusiasts of the comic would have made a better and more faithful story. They could take a sony mini camcorder and get shots of a guy doing stunts on an expensive bike. Because that’s all the movie was, a freaking tribute to fire and motorcycles. The effects were almost cool, but the below par script made it an utter waste of time. And it still defied nature and was number one at the box office this week!

I couldn’t tell whether we were supposed to take the dialogue seriously or not. LAist recommends the movie best viewed under the influence. The tone was at times campy and goofy with Cage eating jellybeans out of a martini glass. Then, the bad guys, led by Blackheart (Wes Bentley), had supposedly scary and threatening dialogue. It just came off flat and stupid. The people in the theater were dead quiet through the entire movie. And I saw at least 5 people walk out. I still can’t believe Wes Bentley (American Beauty) made his return to cinema with this movie. I think he needs a better agent.

Related posts:

1. Robert “Iron Man” Downey Jr
2. Just let it out
3. Spider-man 3: Birth of Emo Spidey
4. Doomsday’s taking it to the streets